The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Woman

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Posted on 2011-04-02. By anonymous.

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The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Woman


When a lover goes down on me, anything can happen. From the first silky caress of a warm tongue on my clitoris to the crashing movement of orgasm as a hot mouth envelops my vulva, I have the possibilities of the world between my legs. The choices for how I want to enjoy cunnilingus are endless. I can be anyone, anywhere at all in my imagination: a woman arrested for speeding, bent over the hood of her car- or even a man getting the filthiest blowjob of his life. I can role-play with my lover as a ravished femme, a dominant mistress, or a naughty schoolgirl. I can be the one woman my partner desires the most, with their face deliciously pressed between my legs in an act of worship that I can enjoy as either sacred or profane. But whenever, however, wherever it happens, I know I�m going to have a sexual experience that is at once tender and intimate, one that results in a powerful focused orgasm.

It wasn�t always like this. I spent more years than I care to admit silently lying back and waiting for my lover to tire of the effort, in a state of either agony or boredom. Sadly, sometimes this happened in relationships that lasted years. I would read erotic stories of women having earth-shattering orgasms from cunnilingus and think, Yeah, right. I would watch movies in which women gasped and shuddered and I�d think, What actors. Sometimes it felt somewhat good, but just for a minutes. I wondered if it would ever be possible for me to have orgasms from oral sex, let alone the kind of orgasms I had when I masturbated. Could I come with someone right there, up close to my vulva? I doubted that I would ever meet someone who would know how to make me come from cunnilingus. Boy, was I way off.

Now, I�m a professional sex educator for Good Vibrations. My first year with them was spent working in the stores as a Sex Educator/Sales Associate, providing accurate sex information to hundreds of customers face-to-face. It�s no easy feat to become a SESA for Good Vibes: there�s a required twenty-one-hour training program, a comprehensive reading list, and quarterly continuing education classes. In my current position I write Good Vibes�s educational materials (working closely with the Education and Outreach departments) and all the book and video reviews. I�m also a sex writer, penning columns about sex and sexuality for Web magazines. All of this makes me uniquely qualified to write this book: not only have I come full circle with my own experiences, but I am also in touch with other people�s, and I have read and watched everything about oral sex under the sun- everything produced in English, anyway.

This book was an enormous undertaking. I read and reread everything about cunnilingus, scoured sex guide-books and modern erotic, and shook the Internet until it rattled. In addition, I sent out surveys to over 150 people, whose responses came from the United States, Europe, and Canada and covered the full spectrum of gender, sexual preference, age, race, and ability. I gathered their comments, compiled my research, and applied to the results the sex-positive, nonjudgmental approach to sexuality that I learned at Good Vibrations.

The people I surveyed have allowed me to quote them, and you�ll see their comments woven throughout these pages. A couple of women had interesting stories to tell, and I included those in my text, with named changed to protect the not-so-innocent. For them, and many others, this book brings a sigh of relief. Here, finally, is a refreshingly frank explanation of cunnilingus. Although there is a great deal available on the subject of sex, in the current sea of sex information, cunnilingus seems to often be shown in soft focus, such as in books that allude to �yoni kisses.� Others offer one-size-fits-all solutions in �three easy steps�- of course, these guides oversimplify women�s sexuality. And sadly, many of these guides consider cunnilingus only an act of foreplay.

Why do sex books cover cunnilingus in only the clumsiest of ways? There are many answers. Number one, I think, is that we live in a pussy-phobic culture. Ladies, keep it covered up, douse it in perfume, cloak it in sterile white capris in sporty tampon commercials- and for crying out loud, don�t talk about it. Another reason is that most sex guidebooks are written by heterosexual women. Nothing wrong with that, unless you want to know what it�s really like to lick pussy. The trouble is, the authors just don�t know what it�s like, and they tiptoe around their ignorance. The male authors are no better: in their gudes, they often elevate cunnilingus to divinity status, obscuring it with Tantric-this and New-Age-that, perhaps to hide the author�s latent sexual shame. Don�t they realize that the rest of us look at the Flying Bird Octopus Technique #57 and think, Huh?.

The final reason that guides glaze over cunnilingus is a lack of understanding about anatomy. It�s not that they don�t know what the body parts are called; it�s that they don�t tell us what to do with those parts. Sure, you can identify the clitoris, perineum, and anus- and make up all the fruity names for techniques you want- but how do these body parts respond to erotic stimulation? It seems that we need to retell the story of Female Genital Anatomy 101 from a pleasure perspective: we know where babies come out, but we have no idea how clits like to be licked or how labia prefer to be nibbled.

This book fills in the blanks. Actually, it does more than that- it teases them, turns them on, bursts their seams, and pushes them over the edge. It�s more than a handful, and certainly more than a mouthful. Plus, it�s not just for the givers of cunnilingus but also for women on the receiving end. It provides all the information we ever wanted about cunnilingus: what it is, how to do it, and how to talk about it, plus pleasure-based anatomy, games and treats, advanced techniques, and more.

So, sit back, relax, and enjoy this information-packed, fun little read. There are many fun tricks and techniques to try, adorable illustrations from Molly Kiely, and steamy, explicit short stories by Alison Tyler to get you hot and bothered. May you enjoy putting this book into practice as much as I have.

Chapter 1: One Act, Many Pleasures
Receiving
Giving
Increasing Intimacy
Enhancing Lovemaking

Chapter 2: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Getting Head
The Four Fears
Building Blocks for Great Sex: Masturbation and Fantasy
Getting Connected
Being a Great Lick-ee
The Oral Sex Double Standard
Working Late

Chapter 3: Anatomy for Pleasure
Female Anatomy 101
The Sexual Response Cycle
The G-Spot and Ejaculation

Chapter 4: Health Considerations
Is Cunnilingus a Risky Behavior?
Is Rimming Risky?
Safer Sex
Flavored Vulvas
Air Embolism
Episiotomy
The Eroticism of Safer Sex

Chapter 5: Tastes and textures
Hair: Velvet or Velcro?
Smell and Taste
Beard Burn
Menstruation
The Sweets of San Francisco

Chapter 6: Cunning Linguistics: Getting Started
Cunning Strategies and Suggestions
Foreplay Games for Lovers

Chapter 7: Oral Seduction
First Taste
Helping Hands
Female Genital Massage
Starting Licks
Tongue Techniques
What Your Mouth Can Do
Strokes and Combinations
Rhythm
How to Be a Mind Reader (Well, Almost)
Blue Denim Pussy

Chapter 8: As You Like It
Positions
Cunnilingus Positions for Injured or Disabled People
Tongue and Jaw Cramp
Penetration and Sex Toys
G-Spot Stimulation
More

Chapter 9: Tricks or Treats: Advanced Techniques
Erotic Pressure Points
Fire and Ice
A Little Pain
A Lot of Pain
Exercising Restraint
Rimming
Anal Penetration
Extreme Sports
The Party

Chapter 10: Independent Study: Erotic Books and Videos
Recommended Reading
Sex Guides
Erotic Videos
How-To Videos

Chapter 11: Sex Resources
Online and Mail Order
Retail Stores
Canadian Resources
Safer-Sex Resources
Sex Education Classes and Workshops
Organizations
Sex-Related Web Sites

Chapter 12: References
Books
Videos

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