Posted on 2011-04-02. By anonymous.
When a lover goes down on me, anything can happen. From the first silky caress of a warm tongue on my clitoris to the crashing movement of orgasm as a hot mouth envelops my vulva, I have the possibilities of the world between my legs. The choices for how I want to enjoy cunnilingus are endless. I can be anyone, anywhere at all in my imagination: a woman arrested for speeding, bent over the hood of her car- or even a man getting the filthiest blowjob of his life. I can role-play with my lover as a ravished femme, a dominant mistress, or a naughty schoolgirl. I can be the one woman my partner desires the most, with their face deliciously pressed between my legs in an act of worship that I can enjoy as either sacred or profane. But whenever, however, wherever it happens, I know Iï¿½m going to have a sexual experience that is at once tender and intimate, one that results in a powerful focused orgasm.
It wasnï¿½t always like this. I spent more years than I care to admit silently lying back and waiting for my lover to tire of the effort, in a state of either agony or boredom. Sadly, sometimes this happened in relationships that lasted years. I would read erotic stories of women having earth-shattering orgasms from cunnilingus and think, Yeah, right. I would watch movies in which women gasped and shuddered and Iï¿½d think, What actors. Sometimes it felt somewhat good, but just for a minutes. I wondered if it would ever be possible for me to have orgasms from oral sex, let alone the kind of orgasms I had when I masturbated. Could I come with someone right there, up close to my vulva? I doubted that I would ever meet someone who would know how to make me come from cunnilingus. Boy, was I way off.
Now, Iï¿½m a professional sex educator for Good Vibrations. My first year with them was spent working in the stores as a Sex Educator/Sales Associate, providing accurate sex information to hundreds of customers face-to-face. Itï¿½s no easy feat to become a SESA for Good Vibes: thereï¿½s a required twenty-one-hour training program, a comprehensive reading list, and quarterly continuing education classes. In my current position I write Good Vibesï¿½s educational materials (working closely with the Education and Outreach departments) and all the book and video reviews. Iï¿½m also a sex writer, penning columns about sex and sexuality for Web magazines. All of this makes me uniquely qualified to write this book: not only have I come full circle with my own experiences, but I am also in touch with other peopleï¿½s, and I have read and watched everything about oral sex under the sun- everything produced in English, anyway.
This book was an enormous undertaking. I read and reread everything about cunnilingus, scoured sex guide-books and modern erotic, and shook the Internet until it rattled. In addition, I sent out surveys to over 150 people, whose responses came from the United States, Europe, and Canada and covered the full spectrum of gender, sexual preference, age, race, and ability. I gathered their comments, compiled my research, and applied to the results the sex-positive, nonjudgmental approach to sexuality that I learned at Good Vibrations.
The people I surveyed have allowed me to quote them, and youï¿½ll see their comments woven throughout these pages. A couple of women had interesting stories to tell, and I included those in my text, with named changed to protect the not-so-innocent. For them, and many others, this book brings a sigh of relief. Here, finally, is a refreshingly frank explanation of cunnilingus. Although there is a great deal available on the subject of sex, in the current sea of sex information, cunnilingus seems to often be shown in soft focus, such as in books that allude to ï¿½yoni kisses.ï¿½ Others offer one-size-fits-all solutions in ï¿½three easy stepsï¿½- of course, these guides oversimplify womenï¿½s sexuality. And sadly, many of these guides consider cunnilingus only an act of foreplay.
Why do sex books cover cunnilingus in only the clumsiest of ways? There are many answers. Number one, I think, is that we live in a pussy-phobic culture. Ladies, keep it covered up, douse it in perfume, cloak it in sterile white capris in sporty tampon commercials- and for crying out loud, donï¿½t talk about it. Another reason is that most sex guidebooks are written by heterosexual women. Nothing wrong with that, unless you want to know what itï¿½s really like to lick pussy. The trouble is, the authors just donï¿½t know what itï¿½s like, and they tiptoe around their ignorance. The male authors are no better: in their gudes, they often elevate cunnilingus to divinity status, obscuring it with Tantric-this and New-Age-that, perhaps to hide the authorï¿½s latent sexual shame. Donï¿½t they realize that the rest of us look at the Flying Bird Octopus Technique #57 and think, Huh?.
The final reason that guides glaze over cunnilingus is a lack of understanding about anatomy. Itï¿½s not that they donï¿½t know what the body parts are called; itï¿½s that they donï¿½t tell us what to do with those parts. Sure, you can identify the clitoris, perineum, and anus- and make up all the fruity names for techniques you want- but how do these body parts respond to erotic stimulation? It seems that we need to retell the story of Female Genital Anatomy 101 from a pleasure perspective: we know where babies come out, but we have no idea how clits like to be licked or how labia prefer to be nibbled.
This book fills in the blanks. Actually, it does more than that- it teases them, turns them on, bursts their seams, and pushes them over the edge. Itï¿½s more than a handful, and certainly more than a mouthful. Plus, itï¿½s not just for the givers of cunnilingus but also for women on the receiving end. It provides all the information we ever wanted about cunnilingus: what it is, how to do it, and how to talk about it, plus pleasure-based anatomy, games and treats, advanced techniques, and more.
So, sit back, relax, and enjoy this information-packed, fun little read. There are many fun tricks and techniques to try, adorable illustrations from Molly Kiely, and steamy, explicit short stories by Alison Tyler to get you hot and bothered. May you enjoy putting this book into practice as much as I have.
Chapter 1: One Act, Many Pleasures
Chapter 2: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Getting Head
The Four Fears
Building Blocks for Great Sex: Masturbation and Fantasy
Being a Great Lick-ee
The Oral Sex Double Standard
Chapter 3: Anatomy for Pleasure
Female Anatomy 101
The Sexual Response Cycle
The G-Spot and Ejaculation
Chapter 4: Health Considerations
Is Cunnilingus a Risky Behavior?
Is Rimming Risky?
The Eroticism of Safer Sex
Chapter 5: Tastes and textures
Hair: Velvet or Velcro?
Smell and Taste
The Sweets of San Francisco
Chapter 6: Cunning Linguistics: Getting Started
Cunning Strategies and Suggestions
Foreplay Games for Lovers
Chapter 7: Oral Seduction
Female Genital Massage
What Your Mouth Can Do
Strokes and Combinations
How to Be a Mind Reader (Well, Almost)
Blue Denim Pussy
Chapter 8: As You Like It
Cunnilingus Positions for Injured or Disabled People
Tongue and Jaw Cramp
Penetration and Sex Toys
Chapter 9: Tricks or Treats: Advanced Techniques
Erotic Pressure Points
Fire and Ice
A Little Pain
A Lot of Pain
Chapter 10: Independent Study: Erotic Books and Videos
Chapter 11: Sex Resources
Online and Mail Order
Sex Education Classes and Workshops
Sex-Related Web Sites
Chapter 12: References
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